Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental hospital, a visitor asked the Director 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the hospital.'

'Well,' said the Director, 'We fill up a bathtub, and then we give a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
.
.
.
.

'No.' Said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug.... Would you prefer a bed near the window?'

Tequila Anyone?

A Mexican is strolling down the street in Mexico City and kicks a bottle lying in the street.

Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Mexican is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish; anything you want."

The Mexican begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking tequila." Finally the Mexican says, "I wish to drink tequila whenever I want, so make me pee tequila."

The Genie grants him his wish.

When the Mexican gets home, he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pees in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like tequila. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like tequila. So he takes a taste and it is the best tequila he has ever tasted.

The Mexican yells to his wife, "Consuelo, Consuelo, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Mexican takes another glass out of the cupboard and fills it. He tells her to drink it. It is tequila.

Consuelo is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best tequila she has ever tasted. The two drank and partied all night.

The next night the Mexican comes home from work and tells his wife to get  two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to fill the two glasses. The result is the same. The tequila is excellent and the couple drinks until the sun comes up.

Finally Friday night comes and the Mexican comes home and tells his wife,  "Consuelo, grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink Tequila."

His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table. The Mexican begins to fill the glass; and when he fills it, his wife asks him, "But Pancho, why do we need only one glass?"

Pancho raises the glass and says, "Because tonight, Mi Senorita , you drink from the bottle."

Marriage Musings

The following is an unedited chat transcript between me & a very good friend of mine. I've just removed his name for fear that he'll shoot me when he happens to see this post, but all's good in the name of fun right?

Disclaimer - Not for those who don't have a sense of humor :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friend:  Expectation: Being a vegetarian, I expect my partner to be vegetarian. kai lihitil loka !

 me:  tila mhanav - nahi hot, ja!

Friend:  asa ja ja mhanun saglya muli jatayt

 me:  hahahaha

Friend:  n kai navin shod mhane "tetotaller" ka kahitari

 me:  teetotaller mhanje jo daru peet nahi

Friend:  GRE chi hava n TOFEL cha maaj matrimonial profile war ! mag drinking habits nako asa liha ki

 me:  hehe, tila saang na, mi lihile aahe ka? O_O  bochya

Friend:  mala last item jo pahila tiche paraents "in hand" salary vicharat hote nashib PF kiti kaptat n salary slip dakhave nahi mhanale

 me:  tyanna sangayche na, maajha 'in hand' deto tichya

 Friend:  *** madhye in hand pagar sangitla tar watchman chi mulgi suddha lagna karnar nahi mazyashi

 me:  hahahahahahahahahahaha LOL LMAO :P

Friend:  evdha sagla trass asun mala kontahi vyasan nahi ! paha kiti vishesh aahe te !

 me:  hahahahaha, dude, u seriously need to get laid. big time

Friend:  aahe tya pagarat get laid la pan ubha karnar nahit

me:  hahahahahah
 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Need I say more? Poor chap. le Sigh. :D

Pervert Thoughts on English names

I've always wondered a lot about the English language. Not especially so, but yeah, it takes after a lot of Indian languages that have Double Meanings to some sentences, words, etc.

What really got me kicked up was the very weird names of towns, cities, villages or even entire countries that the British have ruled thru the centuries, and the very perverted names they have given to those places.

The only explanation that I can come up with for these names is that someone who was responsible for giving these new names was most probably an Indian, educated under the colonial system in the British Empire, and who could think of no better way of getting back at his "Masters" by giving "Innovative" names that an Indian would surely understand the slang for, but the Brits would think, "Oooh, what a Lovely name!" and keep it like forever.

Going further, this person probably witnessed the American uprising against the Brits, and said why shouldn't the Americans too have some fun at British Expense and gave some names that'd be initially very obvious to the Americans, but not so much to the British.

Some examples these corny names are given below.

• Names an Indian would surely understand the slang for

1. EngLand
2. ScotLand
3. IreLand
4. IceLand
5. PoLand
6. GreenLand
7. SwitzerLand
8. ThaiLand
9. New ZeaLand
10. FinLand
11. NetherLands

• Names all would understand as a way of getting back at the Brits

1. Essex
2. Middlesex
3. Sussex
4. Bangkok
5. Blow Me Down
6. Newfoundland
7. Crotch Lake
8. Dildo
9. Cockburn - Western Australia
10.  Twat - Orkney
11. Shitland Islands
12. Titty Hill - Susses, England  (ROFL!)
13. Thong - Kent, England
14. Wetwang - England
15. Spread Eagle, Wisconsin, USA
16. Bald Knob - Arkansas, USA
17. Cockup - Cumbria, England
18. Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington State, USA
19. Hookersville - West Virginia, USA
20. Toad Suck - Arkansas, USA
21. Horney Town - North Carolina, USA
22. Shitterton - Dorset, England
23. Whakapapa - New Zealand
24. Bastard (Norway)
25. Chinaman's Knob (Australia)
26. Climax (Colorado, USA)
27. Cunt (Spain)
28. Cunter (Switzerland)
29. Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
30. Dongo (Congo)
31. Fuku (Shensi, China) 
32. Fukum (Yemen)
33. Hold With Hope (Greenland)
34. Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
35. Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
36. Little Dix Village (West Indies)
37. Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)
38. Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)
39. Muff (Northern Ireland)
40. Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
41. Seymen (Turkey)
42. Shafter (California, USA)
43. Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
44. Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
45. Tittybong (Australia)
46. Tong Fuk (Japan)
47. Wank (Germany)
48. Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
49. Wankener (India)
50. Wankie (Zimbabwe)
51. Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
52. Wanks River (Nicaragua)
53. Wankum (Germany)
54. Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)

And the list goes one. Maybe someone can ponder on this? :P hahahahaha 

Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental hospital, a visitor asked the Director 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the hospital.'

'Well,' said the Director, 'We fill up a bathtub, and then we give a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

'No.' Said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug.... Would you prefer a bed near the window?'