Disclaimer - Not for those who don't have a sense of humor :)
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Friend: Expectation: Being a vegetarian, I expect my partner to be vegetarian. kai lihitil loka ! 
me: tila mhanav - nahi hot, ja!
Friend: asa ja ja mhanun saglya muli jatayt 
me: hahahaha
Friend: n kai navin shod mhane "tetotaller" ka kahitari
me: teetotaller mhanje jo daru peet nahi
Friend: GRE chi hava n TOFEL cha maaj matrimonial profile war ! mag drinking habits nako asa liha ki
me: hehe, tila saang na, mi lihile aahe ka? O_O bochya
Friend: mala last item jo pahila tiche paraents "in hand" salary vicharat hote nashib PF kiti kaptat n salary slip dakhave nahi mhanale 
me: tyanna sangayche na, maajha 'in hand' deto tichya
Friend: *** madhye in hand pagar sangitla tar watchman chi mulgi suddha lagna karnar nahi mazyashi 
me: hahahahahahahah ahahaha LOL LMAO :P
Friend: evdha sagla trass asun mala kontahi vyasan nahi ! paha kiti vishesh aahe te ! 
me: hahahahaha, dude, u seriously need to get laid. big time
Friend: aahe tya pagarat get laid la pan ubha karnar nahit
me: hahahahahah
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Need I say more? Poor chap. le Sigh. :D